Monday, October 5, 2009


I can always lean on Marley. Sashial and Lira are great teammates to have. And Tony and Suzanne will always have my back. It's refreshing, and maybe this is just another aspect of heaven but nobody's let me down. It's different, because I'm sure not used to it. People abandoning you is one thing, but when someone's indifference makes your life more difficult, it's more fuel to the fire of misanthropy. When people who are supposed to help you don't, is it worse than those who treat you maliciously? I think maybe. You don't expect anything from your enemies. When an ally won't give you the help you're meant to have, it's like you've been teased and tormented by having your deserved complacency given then taken away. There's been many a night at work when I've wished eternal hell on people I still think the wold of. On Earth, I mean. In Heaven that never happens.

Then again, these are not people I'm working with, they're angels. Shouldn't angels be better coworkers? They're angels for fuck's sake. Maybe it's the generosity that comes with the job; apathy is essentially a manifestation of selfishness. Then again, don't we all get selfish at times? Maybe more when it's 10pm, you're into your thirteenth hour of work and the last think you want to do is even think about anything that's going to give you more fucking work, even if it won't be that night. Maybe that's the core to the angel's generosity: we're spirits. Not alive, we don't get tired, and we're not given to petty fucking self-interest and free to think about other people. I'd be more than happy to think about myself, but hey, someone needs to be helped, and that's why I'm here. Stop shirking you fucking slacker.

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